If you’re online dating, one thing strikes you more than anything else, how present people are online and how nearly impossible is to meet them in person. With some people it takes weeks, with others could take up to a couple of months. What’s the rule of 5 for happy dating? Work, family, friends and hobbies take a considerable chunk out of our time and energy. Thus most of us only allow for dating to be on the 5th place at best. Why dedicate the front row to a stranger?
At least why should us daters do it straight away? They’ll have to earn their place. They probably would. If only we’d let them. But can we? There is always something going on, like traveling for work or otherwise, or family reunions, friends visiting from abroad or it’s the weekend when the kids are over.
1. DON’T POSTPONE YOUR 1ST DATE FOREVER AND EVER
A first date, of course is no small feat. All of us want to be at our best, even if it’s just lunch, squeezed in between a football game and a family outing. If only we could. Adult life is complicated. Once we leave school and enter full time employment, we tend to have so much stress in our lives we prefer to stick to the safe and familiar. That means our family, our friends, our familiar surroundings. Because we have to admit it, the online dating scene is a battlefield. We’re in competition with many men and/or women for the attention of the one or the ones that take our fancy. Thus it takes serious preparation to go on that first date. We have to polish our armour, dust off our best smile, raid our wardrobe, visit the hairdresser and find the perfect shoes. Oh, the shoes.
2. DON’T LET WORK TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE, OR AT LEAST NOT ALL OF IT
For most of us squeezing our dating life into the background is down to long standing priorities. If we’ve been single for a while we’ve filled the gap that our last relationship left with obliging ourselves to others. An extra shift? We say yes. Overtime? We’re unfazed. Taking over a colleague’s project because they’re away on holiday? Bring it on. No wonder we’re almost always exhausted. We have to learn to say no.
3. DON’T BOOK YOURSELF UP TO THE MAX WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
But it’s summer. We have to go to that barbeque. Is there anybody eligible there? Not really, our friends are mostly couples and families. Should we be glad they’re not trying to match us up? Surely we’re better at it ourselves. Or, are we? Truth is it’s time to be selfish.If you scored a date and have to cancel because you’re obligated to go to that barbecue, birthday party, anniversary, you name it, it means that you put your own private life on the backburner. A friend was messaging me whilst I was on a romantic getaway in Paris. My friend was worried that I’ll drop off the face of the earth just because I was in a new relationship. My answer, I might be “non communicado” for a short while, but I’ll be back. I won’t ever let my friends miss me for too long, but.
4. DON’T GIVE UP DATING IN FAVOUR OF YOUR HOBBIES
“Me time” is holy and essential. Our hobbies enrich our free time and are the perfect stress release, unless we’re enamored and can find a much better use to our time.
5. DO GIVE PRIORITY TO YOUR DATING LIFE, IF YOU WON’T, WHO ELSE WILL?
At first the dating train might only come in at platform 5, but as you progress with one person, or even if you switch to another, you must realize that to date successfully, you must put in your time and effort. It might be tough, it might be challenging, but it’s your life. Take charge.
What do you think? Looking forward to hearing your comments.
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